First Drafts in Money Laundering

In this post I would like to step away from all things computer. Here are a couple of what I think were excerpts from the first draft of a story about a wayward money-laundering task force brought to you by the great state of Florida, aka the land of 911 calls over chicken McNuggets. To summarize, the Bal Harbour PD and Glades County Sheriffs Office were involved in a task force to cut-off funding lines to various cartels, complete with cover bank accounts and loads of untraceable cash. This all went very predictably wrong when the police realized they had badges and started to spend money like Saudi Arabian Sheikhs, becoming ACTUAL money launderers in the process. Don't worry, once the Department of Justice realized they were getting screwed on their cut, the whole operation was shut down.






Above, we have poor Pat Franklin's original wording just before lawyers from the Department of Justice lodged a complaint that the comparison to the Mafia was inappropriate since caporegime refers to an underboss when clearly they are the Capo di tutt'i capi (boss of all bosses).

This is from the next installment where the cops were trying to decide on how they could use the potential drug money to finance their own departments. Surprise, surprise the Feds had a program designed JUST for the occasion.

My thoughts on the preceding blurb are that the two LEOs didn't know what the program was originally called, so they were a bit more descriptive in what they wanted until they found the actual name.

Of course, the above is all satire, but I would like everyone to take a second and ponder how the hell a program like "Equitable Sharing" exists or that ANY organization is allowed to feed a budget off the proceeds of a crime.





Thank you to the Miami Herald for posting this series of stories; if you would like to read more go to: http://pubsys.miamiherald.com/static/media/projects/2015/license-to-launder/index.html